my muse Disappoint

You know what I like to think about at midnight?

A lot of things actually. A little bit of those, a flash of that, a feel of this.

It's midnight, it's time to be undisciplined, and wander.

But inevitably I end up at the same door night after night return to contemplate only one thing: disappointment.

It's strange how you can learn to accept that failure is as plausible an outcome as any, and then you learn to think and strategise for success, and then you learn to do because it needs to be done according to the plans, and you would think after all that mental prep you won't be disappointed if plans don't work.

But the fear remains, to create a reluctance that holds you back however lightly.

It's irrational fear that's what it is. Trust your rational plans enough to ignore it so you don't end up in the same spot worrying when you wake up.