young, free, curious: there's still time for risks guys!
a few years ago, experimenting was everything anyone ever talked about. Talk was always about places to go, things to try, people to see, the smoke of optimism wafting above the crowds at the uni cafeterias and coffee places, always tempered with the slightest urgency from knowing that this feeling would not last. Even so, it seemed like a time for adventures and to us then, it seemed like there was a lot of time
my thoughts often return to those times these days. Each time I hear a new tale of frustration, or sadness, or regret, I try to remember, what did we do when we were unhappy then? Most times we just jumped out and did something else, the idea that there are better things out there as real as the sun's heat on your face
of course, no one remembered to inform us that it wasn't the next one, or the next, next one, or the next, next, next one that was going to be what finally works for us. Sure, some people are lucky, and some get by with lower standards, but time and again we found ourselves against another wall
fatigue could be what it is. Mountains are tiring to scale up, and each mountain presents yet another possible round of challenges that would need great time, effort, and strength, like in the last unsuccesful assent. So we look at our calloused hands and wonder, 'Do I really want to go through all that again?' and ponder in this wasteland we've slid down into
we hate it here, but we might die climbing yet another mountain, or find that the other side is just as bad, or lose a limb from falling down the side. The thrill of finding better greater things now overpowered by the reluctance to lose the game again
don't you find that boring?
1 comment:
I think it's part life cycle, part social convention. I was hardly the most adventurous university student out there, but I lived more carelessly then. Did whatever I want, whenever I wanted, slept late, pigged out - even let some illnesses fester a little too long.
Now, working and living with the parents, I feel a little more mortal. I'm still doing everything I want, grabbing every opportunity available, but I regret almost every careless thing I did. I'm more careful now - perhaps too careful. I want routine. I want to get on track. And perhaps it says something that around me, so does everyone else - we all want routine and control.
Also, I think there comes a time you want to fix your past regrets, so you can move on. And it gets a little bit harder to do the longer you take.
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